Friday, July 30, 2010

Rock'n cute sisters! Me, Misty & Tiffany

When Misty was here from Cali, the 3 of us got together for awesome Salt City Burgers and all out chic fun. Funny thing is,  our birth order, Im oldest, Misty's in the middle and Tiff is at the end. Bummer thing is we were missing 3 sisters!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

its chemo day ....look for random silly thoughts as I'm certain the boardom of being tethered to that poison machine, aka i.v. chemo drip, will make me go bazurk.....

Monday, July 26, 2010

My hair is coming out in handfuls. What's with that? Its not day 14 yet.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Got Pinked!

Last night was a rock'n pinked time! Dans family had a Get Pinked! summer party along with a goodbye to Mike who's moving to Atlanta.(I love you Mikey) The entire family came pinked out. We polished fingers pink, striped hair pink, blinged hair pink, shaved heads and mohawked pink and even glitter tattooed pink. I lost my breath just pulling up to Grandmas house at the site of the parking lot parked on her street. Everyone was supporting me in my journey through cancer. WOW! Being loved so much and supported so much is extremely humbling. So many of the guys shaved their heads to support my up and coming hair loss, which started yesterday ironically. And those who didn't quite have the ganas to Bic at least striped their hair pink. Ron was quite the supporter with a breast cancer ribbon shaved into his hair which was be dazzled with pink glitter I might ad. And Sam...crazy guy....he bling pinked his goatee. And Kim even got pinked all the way from California while she was at Disneyland. My boys were so brave to support me too.Keep following so you can see all the fun pictures I'm posting. 

Thursday, July 22, 2010

A Had a funtastic evening with my girls at a party. It was so good to laugh and play & eat amazing food, oh and watch JillE perform back flips on the tramp!. Life is wonderful! I love you Jill, May, Heidi, & Britt!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Chemo effects

My scalp has been itching me lately, I think the chemo is starting to take scalp effect. Wore a wig to school for the first time today, everyone fibbed and said it was cute. HaHa, thank goodness for loving friends with a good sense of humor

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Feeling better

By this evening, I was feeling quite a bit better which accommodated a therapy session at the nearby Frogurt with the girls-  indeed the best ever; for nothing can take the place of girl tattle. Only the "leather" mini sofas hold the secrets of a girls heart. Many moments of laughs and plain old dirt bag ranting and raving have fallen into the crevices of that furniture...sure hope the stitching holds up, to unloose the threads that holds all secrets would be the next best selling Harpo book club novel....

then again, I could be rich

Here's a place to write your own story by the craft of the pen

Leather Writing Journal with Strap closure

Monday, July 19, 2010

........that pretty much sums up my day

Friday, July 16, 2010

Sitting here in a walgreens parking lot overlooking the valley. Should I share or keep this to myself? But I want to be real too. I'm completely nauseated from the chemo, feel wicked sick. The spouse and I had a moment, so I needed to seclude myself and drove to this crazy look out spot. I am usually quite brave and confident. But the thoughts of not living to be 60 are pulling my heart down. I know, I know so many people kick this. Life is full of uncertainties, I'm obviously living one now and its an ugly one. I'm scared and yet there should be no place for fear for that is truly how we loose any battle. Why me? Than again, why not me? I'm a young mom, a wife, daughter, friend. I hate this trial at this very moment. I want it gone. I don't want to go through this or experience this. Perhaps Jesus felt this way? I'd imagine he didn't want to go through or experience the Gethsemane or the crucifixion. He knew of the greater purpose of those sufferings however, for without that experience we could never be understood in our own pain and sufferings. I may have opportunity to related to others now in a way could have not. Empathy vs. sympathy.

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did

Embracing my journey via Diva Fashonista

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Out of the mouth of babes....
"If you feel sick, I'm gonna eat soap so i feel sick too so i can be like you"
 ... Kaden Brimley, age 6
I feel horrible, sick to my stomach EXTREMELY nauseated, have a headache. Stupid chemo.
G I'm t i r e d! All I did was sit in a chair and got pumped full of fluids and I'm wipe out. Can't wait to snuggle down in my sheets and sleep. On my way home now....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Monday, July 12, 2010

New chance at life

8:00 tomorrow morning is the beginning of a new chance at life. I start the first of 8 chemo treatments. Chemo days are called infusion days.  

So What exactly does chemo do? It works by killing fast-growing cancer cells. Unfortunately, chemo can’t tell the difference between cancer cells and fast-growing healthy cells, including red and white blood cells. As a result, one of the most serious potential side effects of some types of chemotherapy is a low white blood cell count. Fortunately I will be receiving an injection the following day after chemo (referred to as my injection day) with a drug called Neulasta. Neulasta is a colony stimulating factor. It is a man-made form of a protein (amino acid) that stimulates the bone marrow and promotes the growth of white blood cells called neutrophils in your body. White blood cells help your body fight against infection. Because white blood cells are compromised, I need that boost so that I can receive another round of chemo. wow! I'm way to knowledgeable on this cancer stuff for sure. 

On to Huntsman's Cancer Institute I go. 

Wigging Out!

My sister Misty came from California to cheer me up this week. Shopping for a "cranial prosthetic" turned out to be angry fun - didn't really want a wig but bald is so not my thing. We seriously had so much fun and laughed for forever. I loved having her here to support me, love me and encourage no fear. 
- thank you Mike for sending my sister! xo

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Last night was yucky... Walked into a wig shop, and could have sworn the age limit sign said age 60 plus...all sorts of grey short haired wigs adorned the walls of the shop. I did see long wigs and it stung my heart to face reality, I have cancer and the only reason I'm here is because I'm going to be bald. Cry. That's what I wanted to do. I hated that I was there. My attitude all along has been pretty positive. Pink extensions in my hair, & "I love boobies" bracelets have lightened my mood especially for those around me but sometimes, this just sucks. But I don't marinate in this gak of a trial, I put on my happy face and let it all go. Truly I love where I am in life. God is on my side along with family, friends and all who only know me through those I love who have shared my story. Everyday I witness a miracle in my life. A door opens, a stepping stone is placed at the very foot of my step.

God IS holding my hand

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My yard Gets Pinked!

My darling mother gathered my siblings and family and Pinked! my yard with all kinds of pink flowers. I am touched by the enormous love showered upon me. Seems unfair that the combination of letters from the English language cannot emanate nor capture how I feel in my heart as I am touched yet again at the angels in my life...and what's more humbling...I really don't deserve this, I'm just normal, like everybody else, I'm just me. 

Everyone, thank you so much, i love you....XO

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Get Pinked!? Hey everyone, I need your get pinked pix. Need ideas? pink your hair, pink a flower pot in your yard, pink your tree, fence or railing with pink ribbons, pink an outfit, pink a dinner with pink paper plates, cups, napkins, jello, soda, cupcakes etc, pink your pet, chew pink bubblegum and take a pix, get creative and show me what you got!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Finally, I have a treatment plan

Friday 7/3 I spent 4.5 hours at Huntsman Cancer Institute. Again, by way of miracles and angels, I landed in the hands of Dr.Ward, MD Oncologist (psst! he's Chief of Oncology at HCI-  lucky me!). I met my team of medical caregivers and was entirely impressed.  A blood draw, chest x-ray, & tour of the chemo"suite" were part of my adventures at HCI. At the end of the day I felt completely assured I am in the right place and in the hands of gifted men and women who are blessed in the field of medicine. I will undergo 4 rounds of "A/C"* chemo every two weeks and then 4 rounds of "T"* every two weeks for a total of 8 chemo treatments. There is question of Radiation because my sentinel lymph node was full of cancer. My cancer will be presented to the breast cancer tumor board next Thursday morning where a team of a professionals including oncologists, surgeons, radiologists, nurses etc will review and decide if radiation would be necessary. (please pray its NO).

My calendar looks like this.....

7/6 Tues: First day back to school**
7/9 Friday: Echocardiogram
7/13 Tues: First infusion day
7/14 Wed: Injection day
7/27 Tues: Expecting the start of hair loss
as well as 2nd round of chemo
7/28 Wed: Injection day

*Chemotherapy Drugs

**For those of you that don't know I am going to school to become a Masters Esthetician, I'll share more later. Had to take a LOA for obvious reasons

Friday, July 2, 2010

Be your own advocate....YOU

ou know that feeling...the one that just doesn't sit well. Anxious. Gnawing. Unsettled. Something just not quite right. I met with an oncologist a week ago, wasn't the experience I expected to have, especially when the outcome of my very life was in the hands of a medical oncologist. Immediately after his treatment plan was explained, I felt it, just didn't feel quite right. I doubted and I even messed around with denial and thought "maybe I don't have cancer. Maybe I don't have to have chemo. Maybe its all wrong. Really? I have cancer?". Through the gift of being able to attend the Image Reborn cancer retreat, I not only was encouraged by the voice of the young women like myself who were fighting this ugly thing to be my own advocate and get multiple opinions if necessary but I was privileged to have met an oncology nurse from Huntsmans who stepped in and opened a door of alternate possibilities. At 2:00 today I get that second opinion. Feeling anxious as I did when waiting to hear the results of my pathology report after the surgical biopsy. I hate that feeling. 
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