Monday, August 30, 2010

The gift of the Butterfly Ball

The Butterfly Ball went amazingly well. I feel I did a good job speaking. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I spoke from my heart sharing how my medical treatment changed and gave thanks to those who contributed financially to make Image Reborn retreats possible as well as the medical professionals who made the time available to the women at the retreats.

A few surprises were in store that evening. They asked me to release a box of live butterflies that were dedicated to women who battle cancer. What an honor to be a part of such a sweet and tender moment. How beautiful it was to watch the butterflies dance into the sunset. Later that evening I was given a surprise DVD from a charming guy who worked at Stein Eriksens Lodge who captured on film the release of the butterflies and the sunset that captivated us all. His mother too is battling breast cancer. I hugged him tight with thanks in my heart as well as shared my love to him and his mother. 

A live auction was held after dinner and one of the items was a beautiful black mink and rabbit coat. Again I was surprised and thrilled to be asked to draw the winning number. The crowd cheered in celebration of the win #122! But the applause became more tender as #122 gave me the fur coat. Me? I couldn't believe it. I hugged him tight and with a kiss on his check gave thanks to this kind man. Later he approached me and told me to wear it and think of his wife Gail who passed 3 years ago from breast cancer. What an honor. How humbled. That evening I truly felt like Cinderella, the girl who has much fault and weakness, appeared in the heart of a trial and was honored and loved by everyone in that room. 

Truly I was 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Butterfly Ball

Im only a few hours away from my very first public speaking doesn't count BTW. I have been invited to speak at the Image Reborn fundraiser held at Stein Eriksen Lodge, Deer Valley, UT. I will share what it meant to me to attend the Image Reborn Retreat and make connections with other young women fighting this disease as well as the medical connections I made and how it changed my cancer treatment.

Am I nervous? Just about. But mostly I am so humbled for this opportunity to share my story and publicly express my thanks to the hands and hearts of the generous donors who provided an amzaing start for me and my life with cancer.

If you are reading this, please pray for me that I may not fumble and that I may touch the lives of the anyone in hear shot, for that will truly be a gift back to others. 

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Last day with Dr.Evil and half way there

Today was my last day with the A/C chemo combo, also known as the red devil because one of the chemo drugs is red and mean. 4 more chemo treatments to go starting Sept 7th.  Don't feel so well right now, go figure. We're doing a brain MRI on Wednesday because I've been having constant headaches, just ruling anything out - better be safe than oh so sorry. My cute lil mom was there again to support and hang out with me and I love it. I love you my mommy!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

August 4, 2010

A visit to Disneyland always makes me happy!

July 24th 2010

Redefining HOPE

Whenever my head hits the pillow at the end of my day, my thoughts are a whirlwind pattern of constant images of cancer, feelings about it, the dread of chemo, imagining the outcome of my surgeries, the not knowing of everything. That word HOPE that saunters alongside every breast cancer ribbon and slogan disturbs me instead of comforting me when I'm feeling such things. I'm anxious about it. I'm supposed to find comfort in this word HOPE when I'm feeling scared, intimidated or alone about having cancer and yet I find it to be quite the opposite. HOPE: 'the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best'. I'm unsettled. HOPE is not enough for me. Believe and Faith and Live are words I replace hope with. There is a sense of personal action when I believe and have faith and above all LIVE. Hope is a word that floats like a feather and you 'hope' it lands in your hand. That's not good enough for me. I won't 'hope' along side breast cancer, I will LIVE alongside it and battle and overcome. 

Monday, August 9, 2010

Get Pinked! in New Zealand

Shannen and Traci get creative and get pinked for a dance peformance all the way from New Zealand. Shannen dedicated her hip hop dance to me and my fight for breast cancer. She rocked it hard and won 1st place! I'm so proud of you Shannen girl and thank you for the honor sweetheart! Love and Kisses!
- 'Aunt' Wendy

Wear your support....I love boobies (keep a breast)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Celebrated 17 year anniversary at the Newport Beach harbor tonight dining in style at the Rusty Pelican, Happy Anniversary babe, I love you!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I had the BEST day EVER! I love Disneyland, expecially with my boys. Pirates (ahh, the smell of musty waters), the Hunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, Peter Pan, Autopia, Buzz Light Year and Dole Pineapple Fruit Whip!! Really? is there any other place that can bring smiles and laughter faster or touch the heart so tender?

PS Took me all day to find a fellow bald girl, and at last, I wasn't alone. I wish and pray for her as well for a long life and the battle she is fighting.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Huntington Beach ROCKS!!!

We ran away to sunny southern California, Huntington Beach to be most specific. Had to put cancer on timeout and just leave it behind. We went to the HB US Hurley surf competition and it was a perfect day of sun, sand and surf. I found myself sporting a GI hat, bedazzled of course, to protect the bald head.

So far nausea and just a touch of fatigue have followed me here. I am doing much better today which is awesome. Tomorrow...its a grand day with a visit to favorite California place to be.

I miss it here.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I'm really having a hard time with this bald thing. Its ugly. I hate it. 6 months before it starts to grow back. Bummer.
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