Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Angels. Some are our friends. Some are our family. Some are nurses, some doctors. Some we can't see but know they surround us. Angels have been all around me today. My yard was weeded by the hands of friends. My house is being cleaned at the hands of family. I love my life. I hand my life to God so I too may be an Angel.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Me and my new breast cancer peeps

Nothing happens by accident
Everything happens for a reason
I finally met and joined hearts and hands with 10 amazing Young Breast Cancer Survivors. I learned so much about this ugly world of cancer and so much about blessings given in the same hand as a trial. 
I love the women I met and the women behind the Image Reborn foundation. 
Thank you, thank you.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

At the hand and heart of Spring Mobile and all the persons out there who contributed the monetary donations to fund organizations to support and pamper breast cancer patients I am in Park City UT being uplifted, encouraged, loved and finding life time friends who have walked my journey. With all the gratitude and love in my heart, thank you Image Reborn, Donna, Shelia and Spring Mobile for this gift! With love, Wendy

Friday, June 25, 2010

Supporting our mom

Ashton and Kaden wanted a buzz cut because they knew I was going to loose my hair. Kaden was heart broken at first, and with the saddest face  said "Mom, is my hair going to grow back before school starts?" I took him in my arms and hugged ever so tight as I assure him it would indeed grow back. I reminded him that he was doing this for me. He smiled a big smile and I could feel his personality liven. 

Ashton & Kaden, I love you to the back and moon! 

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tammy Get's Pinked!

I SO love this pic!
See what fun getting Pinked! can be
I am the first one up today. I'm under my covers texting this to my blog. I'm freezing so I slipped on my blue hospital socks, added black yoga pants and my Roxy hoody and topped off my savvy fashion with a pink custom hand made beanie - you'd think it was mid winter in my house! I've been laying here with thoughts of cancer traipsing through my head. Can't decide what's more ugly, the cancer itself, having my breast cut off or loosing my hair. Then I think "Really? For Real? I have cancer? Such a mean word. Why? How come? There are SO many solutions to kill it but NONE to prevent it?? Why, why, why?? I can't make sense of it. I'm the kinda girl that always asked why, my mom can so attest to that. "Wendy, don't eat that before dinner", why? "Wendy, get down from the rafters, well why? Wendy don't touch that hot pot", "why?", "Wendy stop hitting your sister", "why?" "because I said so doesn't work for me

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Went to oncologist today and a chemo class, on my way to plastic surgeons for saline injection. Start chemo July 9th. Hair should fall out July 27th. I'm hurting, its my own fault, I haven't taken any meds yet today

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tomorrow is the BIG day

Tomorrow I meet my life long cancer activist & advocate also called my oncologist. He will lay out the prognosis for kicking this cancer. I'll also learn about how much I am going to cost Dan and our new insurance company. Speaking of costs, I about fainted when I received my first love letter from the hospital billing department, it goes something like this...

Removal of a perfectly augmented right breast thus far: $21,024.04

(Original Breast Augmentation: $5,000)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Cori was my first peep to enter her photo for my Get Pinked! contest. She's one hot fashionista! 

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Well I had drain #1 removed Thursday and there was issued to me a word of caution because my body may not absorb the fluid the drain was collecting. My body did exactly that. A pool of fluid has collected above my expander and created a bumpy bulge that looks rather deformed. Called Dr. S yesterday and I need to go in tomorrow to have it aspirated. I'm hearing that is another procedure that will test the limits of my pain tolerance. So far, no colorful words have passed my lips - well, not in the DR's office anyway. :)
Happy Fathers Day to all the daddy's who mean the world to their little girls- especially my daddy!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

So I went clothes shopping with my friend Cheryl and had a moment of confusion. For the longest time I could not figure out why when I tried on accessories, my long chain necklaces would dangle to the right, kinda like leaning to the right is more accurate. Then I had an 'ah-ha' moment... I had no right boob to properly guide the sparkly chain in an even manner down the front of my bosom. What's a uni-boob girl to do.... I know... Either wear short chain necklaces or get a new boob.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Get Pinked! Contest

This is a SHOUT OUT to Everyone!! I'm extending a Get Pinked! contest. Have you got what it takes to Live in Pink? Be bold....Be brave...Be courageous...Be daring...Be me pictures at of something you've done to Get Pinked! and I'll publish you on my blog! Have fun!

With Love, From Berta

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." 
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
Totally excited here, drain #2 was removed (which hurts pretty damn bad) and we injected 60cc's of saline into the expander- sweet!
I'm so running out of patience. My appt to have the last drain tube removed was for 5:30. I've been waiting 50 min for the DR to show up, ugh

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"Trust God, and believe in good things to come".
Jeffrey R. Holland

On a date with Shauna...

Thank goodness for girlfriends. Shauna took a 1 hour trip to come see me today...all the way from Heber. We go 'way' back to when the twins were about 3 maybe? One day I was at the library struggling to find books for the boys and Shauna saw from the distance the ruckus we were making. She knew exactly how I was feeling for she too had a set of twin boys the exact same age as Bren & Brod! We swapped #'s and have been friends ever since. A lunch date to Zupas with some gooey girl talk was the thing I was needing. 
Thank you Shauna, I love you!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Not too sure I'm that hot on the free wig I got today. 
No snickering now.

Oh and as promised, here is a pix of the 
Making some progress... I parted with one of my drains today. Have to wait till Thursday evening to get the other one out. On my way to the hospital right now for the cancer patients "Look Good" class. Learn how to use make-up for chemo skin and receive a make-up kit. Wig wardrobe... Try on wigs for the anticipated day when my hair has disappeared.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

So how did I find it?

How I got to where I am now... Early May I discovered a bumpy lump in my right breast. I googled what a cancerous lump might feel like... hard, like a rock and bumpy yet immovable. That's what mine felt like but I was not alarmed for many many lumps described on the internet were described as such were normal and or benign.

Pain pain go away

Alright already. I get it. My body is trying to communicate that it needs more recovery time. Being honest here, I hurt. Most of the time I'm hurting. And why really? All I had done was lob off my boob, stick an expander under my muscle and have 19 lymph nodes remove. Its not like I had brain surgery. I honestly cannot believe how long this is taking to recover. I took my first shower this morning and I'll show you the clever drain tube holder I made so I could do it. The cascade of warm water rushing down my body head to toe never felt more rewarding! Now shaving my numb armpit however didn't feel so good. Its like leaving the dentist all numbed up on novacaine and trying to put lipstick on your rubber lips.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Getting Pinked!

2 days before my mastectomy my baby sister and I got wild and had pink extensions put in our hair.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Living Garden

My living room has turned into an FTD floral shop. I love being surrounded by the vibrant smell and colors of all things pretty. Each bud, bloom or bouquet has a silent message of love from the heart of the one who gave it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Feeling like daisy cow with extra udders

Here are pix of the drains. Every morning I have to call in the fluid collected in the past 24 hrs. I was so hoping today was the day to have these things taken out, but Patty said "not yet, call in tomorrow". Ugh. they so don't feel great and tube #1 likes to leak down my side making a mess of my clothing. Wardrobe changes...GEESH!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Medical Update

Pathology: Hormone Receptor
Hormone Receptor came back. The cancer is being fueled by progesterone and estrogen. I'm being told that's a good thing because in addition to chemo I can be treated with hormones. Now really, do I want my hormones messed with??


Wow! Today was my first day of wow. I'm down. Not happy about any of this. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of meds. I'm tired of not being 100% Wendy. I'm tired of being tired.
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