Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Being bald....not so bad

Ok, really, I so don't like being bald. At first I just wanted to hide inside the hats or the wigs. I even wanted to bag up my closet of clothes and rid myself of the feeling of not being attractive. I admit, I have a hard time getting dressed, looking in the mirror and being satisfied with my reflection. Shallow, maybe. But its real. All I see is shiny and naked cranium, it just screams CHEMO GIRL. "You look so beautiful", "you have an amazing shaped head", "no one can rock it like you"...comments from well meaning friends and I'm sure they mean it. It's just so darn hard. But I've had some amazing experiences with this Demi Moore/GI Jane look. Strangers sharing their heart and feelings with me right down to very tears. Somehow my chemo head and the very appearance of what I'm going through has inspired others, who knew. 

While shopping at Sephora, the sales girl helped Jen and I with the plethora of colorful and shiny things that makes all girls giddy...lipgloss, shadow, blush, and more lipgloss , (like a girl needs help in the most beautiful cosmetic store ever...chic heaven). She helped us, I shared my story and we were left to browse...alone...with all that sparkle!!! Later on our visit the sales girl came back to find me, tears in her eyes, she said "this is probably weird but I just have to tell you that you have been an inspiration to me. My sister had a miscarriage today and seeing you has touched me and you have just been and inspiration". I hugged her and told her to tell her sister I loved her. It was hard to hear that I was an inspiration, I didn't do anything special, I am just a bald me. It was that day that I realized that had I worn my wig, this tender experience never would have happened. I learned to take on my trials and bare it all. "It takes courage to go bald" as one breast cancer survivor told me who stopped me at the Swiss Days Festival this past weekend. She admitted she couldn't do it.  At that moment, I did sense a feel of courage & bravery. Maybe more BC women will have courage to rock it bald and bring inspiration to others. 

My journey is an ugly battle at times, but.....I would never trade it.


4 comments:

  1. You never cease to amaze me Babygirl. I love you!

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  2. Good for you, Wendy girl! Rock on! Love you!

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  3. You are fabulous in every way!

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