Monday, November 29, 2010

3 days of rad to go

3 days of radiation left. Seems forever ago and yet still so new that my life forever changed. The newness of being diagnosed is fresh in my mind, the wonder of a mastectomy'd breast so curious, the anxiety of chemo, the fear of losing my hair, the unwillingnes to undergo radiation.... and it's almost the end, the end of the most severe treatment anyway. Still lies ahead a few surgeries and tight surveillance for the rest of my life. But what I will remember in my heart forever is the change in me, the willingness to accept the darkest of trials, to put a smile on my face, move forward and courageously rock my bald head. 

Breast cancer... What frightening words. They create such intense trepidation, you can't apprehend those feelings without the diagnosis personally. 

And yet, I consider my experience euphoric. That induced euphoria has everything to do with the people in my life, both personally and casually. I wouldn't change my diagnosis, I wouldn't change my medical treatments I've endured. I only wish that this has changed me for the better, God knows I needed it. 

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