Friday, October 1, 2010

Something bigger

The flood gates opened!! If you know me well, I don't show my emotions, I don't cry, or rarely I should say. But these last few weeks have softened my heart and I couldn't help but shed tears and manage to smudge my perfectly applied eyeliner on several occasions. Today was one of those occasions, powerful, spiritual even.

I had just finished a treatment on a client at school and while cleaning my supplies in the laundry room chatted with a fellow student and friend of mine. In the doorway a Cosmetology instructor shyly  and patiently glanced my way and waited to talk to me. She motioned for me to come out of the room and then officially introduced herself. Everyone at my school knows who I am, the bald cancer chic in Esthetics, but I don't know everyone in the school. "Hi Wendy, I'm Wendy, I haven't officially met you yet". She then said she wanted to share something with me. First let me preface her words with an event that she spoke to me about. On Tuesday October 12th Cameo College is hosting a spectacular yet epic hair and fashion show. It is not only a competition of creativity and talent between the Cosmo students, it is also a fundraiser. This year the monies raised will go to two breast cancer charities; Look Good Feel Better and Young Survivors Coalition. The show is a massive production held at Murray High School. With humble honor and gratitude, I am speaking to the entire audience of approx 2,000 about my experience and breast cancer journey. I will have the opportunity to be an awareness advocate and am thrilled to educate and share what I've been through.

Wendy said to me "first it is an honor to be working alongside you. I have to tell you that there is something big, something different about this show."

She held her hands high and wide as she described the magnitude of the feelings of this event, "something  big".

"This is the 6th show I've done and in all the years past it is a large production and difficult to pull together. But this year is different. Everything has fallen into place, one right after the other. I cant quite describe it. Its different, there is something bigger here. The feeling of this show is different. I feel we have the opportunity to touch the lives of many, I hope that many people come to the show."

Again she hugged me and thanked me for the opportunity to work with me, and shared how she admired me. At the end of our tender conversation, I knew that God's hands were involved, even to the very opportunity I had to talk with her and have her share such an experience. My eyes are wet with tears as I compose this post for I feel it still. I humbly walked away from that conversation deeply reflecting on her words. Bette Midler's lyrics ehoed through my heart "God is watching us, God is watching us, God is watching us....from a distance".

I felt the vast and eternal love God has for each one of us, including me. Many times throughout my life I feel unworthy to be an instrument in Gods hands to do good... if I'm not perfect,without flaws, weaknesses and sins, how can I help others? Yet through this experience with breast cancer I have had many, many experiences where I have touched someone, and here I am, just me, with flaws and weaknesses like everybody else. God is watching us, and looking out for us and blessing us, individually and collectively. Again I am humbled at the opportunity I have to be a part of that "Something bigger" that Wendy spoke of.

Truly, humbled.


  1. You've touched my heart sweet friend, and I have not doubt you are a tool in the Lords hands.

  2. Your post left me speechless. Something my husband has yet to see! Love you girl.


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